Calamari

I have read The Lord of the Rings. Twice. I have read Ulysses. But the most difficult thing I have ever read is a 9-page short story by Chuck Palahniuk called "Guts".

My friend Kate told me about "Guts". She had gone to hear Chuck read at a Chicago bookfair where he read it. During the reading, she heard some commotion. Police radios squawking. She was afraid Chuck was going to be arrested. But the reading continued. When the story was over, Chuck said, "That makes 54." 54 what? 54 people who had fainted while he read the story. I have to be honest: I had my doubts. 54 people?

"Guts" is now housed in Chuck's book Haunted. I didn't know this at the time. I simply started reading Haunted one morning on the way to work. I read the opening chapter. Then the opening poem about the character Saint Gut-Free. I turned the page. "Guts".

I imagine people who are on Fear Factor have a similar feeling when they are told what their next task is.

I started it on the train. It was rough. It's a short story, but kind of divided into sections. I was getting to the next section and I wanted to read it in one fell swoop. So I put the book down until I was on the bus.

I got on the bus that morning, and it was a warmer day. The bus did not have any sort of air circulation. I sat down and started to read. And I had to stop. I was nauseous and I didn't trust my ability to get through the story. And just like my projectile vomiting experience, I believed.

I have finished "Guts". I respect "Guts". I will probably never read it again. Should you? If this makes you want to read it? Yes. If not, if you turn a page and see "Guts", run.