Running, etc.

I'm running outside again without any pain. Only 20 minutes for the time being. For those who don't know, I had been suffering from really bad shin splints for over a year. I would start to run, my shin would seize up 5 minutes into it, and then when I stopped running, I wouldn't be able to flex my foot. I tell people it felt like somebody has cut your leg off at the knee and replaced it with a peg leg.

What changed? I think when the shin splints started, I went back into running too quickly after having not in quite some time. So my muscles weren't prepared to take on the weight I had gained. I've worked myself back in slowly, and it's going well.

I love running. Maybe that's not quite accurate. There are days I love running. And there are days where my legs each weigh 100 pounds. I love knowing that at any moment, I could stand up and run for an hour. I was at that point in college. I'd like to be there again. There's such a sense of power. Isaiah 40:31 takes on a whole new meaning: "They will run and not grow weary." You have a tangible idea of what that can feel like. You get to the end of your run and you can keep going.

There will be some who read this who will say, "I wish I could exercise, but..." To those, I offer encouragement by taking a page from the Apostle Paul and saying to you that I am the laziest of the lazy. Many have been the days that I pass up the opportunity to exercise because the TV or the internet or my bed distracts me. It's simply easier not to. And then I run a couple of days later, a week or two maybe, and suddenly I wonder why I didn't start earlier.

Because it's habit. To get in is hard, to get out is hard, and to get back in is hard. Those first two weeks, you've got to be absolute in your commitment. There must be no, "I'm too tired" or anything of the like. Those first two weeks, those thoughts are deadly. But after those two weeks, you realize that being tired is not an excuse. You can still exercise if you're tired. And that it's far more hazardous to stop. You begin to exercise for your mental health. At least I do. I know how I'll feel if I don't. Talk to anyone who exercises regularly and then can't. There are almost no words to describe.

You've been flying and somebody takes a baseball bat and knocks you out of the sky. It happened to me recently. I had a minor injury beginning of April, got out of the habit, and I just got back in. I think. Talk to me in a week or two.

Start today. If you're interested. I'm as guilty as the next person for the "I'll start next week" goal. 9 times out of 10, next week comes and goes. Don't go great guns. See my personal battle with shin splints about that. Do what you can. My girlfriend started running with me. When she went to get her shoes, the guy told her to start with 4 minutes running, 1 minute walking. Another person I've heard from started with 1 min run, 1 min walk. Do what you can. And don't run in Airwalks or anything like it. That's how I started and that's dumb.

I've had discussions about whether or not you should weigh yourself of not. I used to not weigh myself. My thought was, "I want to do this for myself. I don't want to judge my success by how much weight I've lost." You know what that's like? Trying to train a dog without a treat. If you exercise regularly, you will lose weight. You will be more conscious about what and how you eat. If that doesn't appeal to you, maybe use a tape measure.

Point being, don't use the mirror. If you don't use something else, you will use the mirror, and the mirror lies. You know when someone you don't see very often has a baby or gets a pet, and the next time you see them, you comment on how much child/pet has grown and they say, "I suppose they have"? That's what the mirror is. It's you living with yourself everyday. Don't do that.

Time. If you want to do this, you have time. Nothing more must need be said.

Um, I've come to the end. These are just things I've learned. Or things I know and haven't quite learned. Whatever. Maybe I'll see you running on the lake.

80's TV and Personal Revelations

My roommates, Ziggy and Marisa, and I were reminiscing the other night about TV shows we had watched as kids. Some memories we shared. The PBS show Today's Special was loved by all. Some we didn't. Ziggy didn't remember GoBots at all. Marisa a vague recollection. Ziggy had a foggy recollection of that early computer animated show Reboot. Marisa and I were both all about it. Marisa and I also big fans of The Great American Hero. Ziggy had no clue. Of course, since I didn't have cable, they went off on a tangent about Nick shows.

But through it, there began to emerge a theme for me. It became evident when Ziggy mentioned Scooby Doo.

"I never liked Scooby Doo," I said.

"Why not?"

"It was never a ghost. It was always a person." And then I realized something: I have never been satisfied in knowing the outcome of a show.

People will often ask me why I like the movies I like. "Can't you just like a movie?" Apparently I can't. Apparently I have never been able to. Apparently I have always wanted something that surprises and challenges me. I didn't like Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote because it was predestined what was going to happen. Same with the Tom and Jerry . Variations on a theme. Perfect Strangers. I gave up on the Hardy Boys. Everybody Loves Raymond. Law & Order. I've watched one episode of CSI. It holds no interest.

Why do I like the movies I like? The shows I like? They challenge my expectations. They go exactly where I want them to by going exactly where I don't expect them to. And if I know where we're going to end up, it better be a darn good ride.

So I guess that's the answer to the question. People, I've always been this way.

Gretchen S., don't read this!

Seriously Gretchen, don't read this.

Here we go.

Creed: I believe in projectile vomiting.

I had my doubts. I have never had any first or secondhand experience. The closest I came was sitting in the back of the car when my cousin Curtis was, as I was told, projectile vomiting in the front seat. He was an infant. This might sound like I was right there, but I was in the back seat of a station wagon. Essentailly, I was looking for Europe standing on the shores of New Jersey. And looking West. Oh, but I heard it all. And then my brother, some friends, and I were trying to drown out the sounds by laughing. Then my grandfather got mad and said, "You kids shut up!"

Memories.

Anyway, projectile vomiting. Fascinated. I wondered where the strength to propel vomit from your body came from. I began to think it might be an urban legend. I thought of going to Snopes.com. And then I ate Chipotle Monday afternoon. I learned all about projectile vomiting. You don't need to go to Snopes. I'll tell you right now.

Now, those who have been with me thus far, you may want to turn away now. This is going to get a little graphic.

I was home a little early from rehearsal Monday. I had started to have some diarrhea and apparently looked terrible. So I was lying on the couch, relatively close to the bathroom, getting up occasionally to use it. Still no sickness to my stomach. Then I felt like I should probably get up. It was going to happen. I moved.

Well, that did it. A little came up. "I can hold it," I thought. I broke for the bathroom. That's when it happened.

It was a surreal experience. Yes, I was sick. Perhaps the most sick I've ever felt. But as it happened, all I could think was, "I'm projectile vomiting! It happens!"

Yes, it certainly did happen. And I am not lying when I write it flew 6 feet. I heard it land. That was gross.

I promptly forgot all of this as I was in the midst of experiencing the most intense 5 minutes of vomiting I hope ever to experience. It was like my stomach developed a personality of its own. And it was pissed off. And done after 5 minutes.

That was Monday night. Today is Friday afternoon. My chest muscles still hurt. I'm not lying. It hurts to laugh and breathe deeply.

But I went through this so that you may know projectile vomiting is no urban legend. It's true. And it can happen to you.

Uncle

I cried, “Uncle!” 3/27/06. See, I have – HAD – an ongoing wrestling match with technology, but I got beat. 3/27/06. I was caught by surprise. I mean, I was reading a magazine article. A printed magazine. The kind the mailman brings to— Forget it. You get the picture. It was in the April 3, 2006 issue of Newsweek. The article “Putting the ‘We’ in WEB.” It talks about the revolution that is occurring on the web right now with sites like MySpace and Flickr. Call it Web 2.0. People shaping the web. Guiding it. It’s a fascinating and thrilling article, and…I gave up. I wanted to be a part of it.

Why had I been resisting? I’ve been afraid of it. I’ve been afraid of the speed of change. Of its impermanence. Its intangibility. I can’t go anywhere and pull it off a shelf. Maybe I’ve been waiting for it to slow down. To finalize. For the merry-go-round to stop. For the wheel to point in the direction I need to go. But it won’t. Maybe that’s what I needed from this article. Screaming in my ears. “This is not going to stop!”

But what of this? Isn’t this how we live? Isn’t much that gets us through a day intangible? I believe in God. I’ve never looked on Him with my eyes. Isn’t much of what gets us through a day impermanent? I believe in my memories. I’ve gone back to my elementary school and marveled at how small it’s become.

I’m afraid of the isolation the web can provide us. We don’t have to interact with people anymore. You don’t need to go to the grocery store. I no longer rent movies from a store. “Grocery and video stores are your concern?” Yes. In the name of convenience, people will isolate themselves. In the future, everyone will be agoraphobic.

And I mentioned technology earlier. Is the web any different than technology? Aren’t they becoming synonymous? Will every piece of relevant technology soon be web-compatible? Yes. Doesn’t that frighten me? Yes! I just soiled myself writing that.

And don’t get me started on what happens when one of our beloved systems crashes. We look like we’re Floridians and it’s snowing.

But anyway, I gave up. 3/27/06.

Here’s what I’ve done:
Taken a picture with my phone and posted it on the internet.
Created a MySpace account
Started a blog

Things to do:
Buy something off Ebay.

I’m not going to be a Luddite. This is happening. I need to find myself within the system. The system as it is right now. It may change tomorrow. But I’ll be there.