Sweet Home...oh, you know

So apparently everyone else in Chicago knows but I just found out that Tom Skilling is AWESOME! For those not in Chicago and therefore those who don't know, Tom Skilling is the weatherman for the local TV news. Or the news on TV. He's the weatherman you watch on TV!

Anyway!

Point is, the dude's awesome. Here's the thing, I don't watch the news. I hate it. I tried again a couple of months back and the lead story was that a pair of legs had been found by the side of the road. Excellent. As weather forecasts universally begin about 20 minutes into the broadcast, I never get that far. Well, I happened upon him last night after Tracy assigned me to find out what was going on. We had encountered a number of emergency vehicles on the ride to her apartment and we could still hear the sirens.

Never found out what it was, but what I did find out was that the trails planes make in the sky attract or create ice crystals. And that the clouds that accumulated above them yesterday were formed of ice crystals and all these ice crystals forming indicated that a cold front was coming in. Or something like this. And that Valparaiso, IN received it's largest snowfall this early in the season since 2002.

Are you getting this? I learned during the Tom Skilling's report. He's not just some guy who looks at computer models and relays them to us. He analyzes it and probably comes up with his own models. Little ones he makes at home. Like model trains. A little tornado tearing up a little trailer park. Or scattered showers over the Chicagoland area.

Speaking of Chicagoland, let me clear something up. I was listening to an ESPN podcast. The hosts read and e-mail from a listener who said he was from Chicagoland. The hosts, having not heard of this before, thought it was something Chicago likes to call itself. Like we think we're an amusement park. Chicagoland does not refer to Chicago, specifically. Chicagoland, according to Wikipedia, is Chicago and its suburbs. I always thought it was more those suburbs (I'm talking to you, Evanston) that think they're part of Chicago. Kind of like Puerto Rico thinks it's part of the U.S.

Another thing I learned about Chicago: the Bulls and Blackhawks both have to leave their homefield, the United Center, every year because the circus comes to town. This is known as the Circus Trip. I just learned this. It began yesterday.

Football: Fantasy and Otherwise

Originally written 9/8/08

You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little hoarse this morning.

But before we get into the game, my girlfriend Tracy officially inducted me into Bear's fandom. Prior to the game, my friend had found a compilation of Hester returns on YouTube that we watched. Tracy beckoned me twice. I waved her off, celebrating with glee every return, grabbing veggies and dip quickly between. When it was over, Tracy said, "Congratulations! You're an official Bears fan. You're living in the past." God help me, it's true.

But maybe I don't have to live in the past. On this day, this bright Monday, I'm living in the present. The Bears looked good. Defense was ferocious and penetrating and scored. A running game was present. A quarterback who was clutch. Orton went for long stretches looking mediocre (and I'm fine with that), and then suddenly it's 3rd and long and we convert. He stood tall in the pocket. Hester, well, no highlights. And a real dumb move trying to fake everyone the play is over. Note to Mr. Hester: that only works when people expect you to kneel. Like that field goal attempt you returned. I'm sure someone's told you, but in case they haven't, don't try that stunt again.

Entertaining moment of the night: We sing the Bears' fight song after touchdowns. The Bears kick a field goal and our lack of song is met with the comment that they sing after field goals at the games. So we sang half-heartedly which we joked about. Host Rick chimes in, "And if we get a safety, we hum." A few plays later, there we are, a roomful of people signaling safety, humming the Bears' fight song.

So that's the real stuff. Let's look at the fake stuff. I'm playing Fantasy Football for the first time. I'm excited. I've criticized it before, mostly the coverage. Last year, Sports Illustrated devoted a single issue to both a training camp round-up and fantasy guesswork. The training camp article was 5 pages. The Fantasy Guesswork was close to 20. That made me mad.

But, a friend started a league, and so I joined. And it's real addictive.

Here's my draft:

1. (4) Brian Westbrook RB
2. (17) Michael Turner RB
3. (24) Larry Fitzgerald WR
4. (37) Ben Roethlisberger QB
5. (44) Marvin Harrison WR
6. (57) Jerricho Cotchery WR
7. (64) LenDale White RB
8. (77) Tony Scheffler TE
9. (84) Matt Schaub QB
10. (97) Arnaz Battle WR
11. (104) Donte' Stallworth WR
12. (117) Ray Rice RB
13. (124) Zach Miller TE
14. (137) Darrell Jackson WR
15. (144) Arizona DEF

In other news:
I think the lead actress on Fringe looks like a cross between Jennifer Garner and Cate Blanchett. My girlfriend wanted to throw in a bit of Jessica Biel. I said throw in all of Jessica Biel and you've got a deal. HA!

I didn't say that, which was smart. But I did write it, which isn't.

Update 11/14/08: So I meant to post this and just never did. And a lot has changed. On my Fantasy Football team. So because you care, want to update that. I'm doing fairly well. In third with a record of 6-4. First week was GREAT. And then a lot of players began not showing up. I don't even know who Darrell Jackson plays for. It now looks like this:

QB - Kurt Warner
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Anquan Boldin
WR - Mark Bradley
RB - Brian Westbrook
RB - Steve Slaton
TE - Owen Daniels
BN - Ben Roethlisberger
BN - Sammy Morris
BN - Tim Hightower
BN - Kevin Curtis
BN - Eddie Royal
BN - Carnell "Cadillac" Williams
K - Matt Prater
DEF - BodyMore, Murderland (for you Wire fans)

Little apprehensive about all my Cards, but hey, they're unstoppable. And they nearly brought me back from a 65 point deficit last week. So there it is, because you wanted it. I know you did.

The Great Dictator

Was a time I declared myself more of a Keaton fan than a Chaplin fan. The joy and...dang it, euphoria...I experienced watching The General was far beyond anything I felt during my first viewing of City Lights. These two features and a couple of Keaton shorts were all I had to go on. Then I saw Monsier Verdoux, one of Chaplin's talkies, though I'm sure by 1947, that word had fallen completely out of favor. And use. It's a sweet story about a man who seduces, marries then kills women to gain their inheritance to care for his sickly wife. Perhaps I had matured or perhaps Chaplin had matured and probably we both did and met at this movie. Because I was truly affected by it. Never hilarious, but always amusing and charming and at times, very moving, this movie was perhaps the key I needed to, if not fall in love with Chaplin, at least appreciate him.

So I decided to bump up a couple movies of his movies on my queue. First up, The Great Dictator. And I've gotta say, I was, once more, genuinely entertained. I was a bit resistant and the first bits (Chaplin failing at operation a howitzer, getting lost in fog) didn’t induce anything other than a grimace. But other bits quickly won me over. I guess that’s what you’ve got to expect from Chaplin in these earlier movies. Stories are things to hang bits upon. And don't worry, if you don't like this one, there’s another one coming down the pike.

I guess that would be a fundamental difference between the earlier Chaplin works (earlier than Monsieur Verdoux) and Keaton's work. Keaton's pranks, pratfalls and setpieces flow seamlessly within the framework of the movie. Or at least, that's how The General feels. Chaplin's movies will sometimes come to a screeching halt. One in The Great Dictator that comes to mind is when the Barber gives a customer a shave and a haircut. Set to classical music, I'm reminded of an e.e. cummings quote that Steve Martin references in Born Standing Up: "Like the burlesque comedian, I am abnormally fond of that precision which creates movement." Each swish of the razor, each snip of the scissors accompanies the music, or is accompanied by. However, it has no bearing on the rest of the movie. So what am I to do with it? Enjoy it. And I did.

Chaplin plays two characters. One, a Jewish barber and the other, well, who cares what his name in the film is, he’s Hitler. We meet the Barber in WWI. He's involved in an accident and falls into a coma. Meanwhile, Hitler is rising to power. The Barber awakes to what he thinks is the world he left and finds it a much different place. The Barber falls in love with the neighbor girl and we watch Hitler becoming more and more involved with Hitler.

One of the best setpieces is a speech Hitler gives near the beginning of the film. Chaplin throws in German words like "sauerkraut" and words that sound German and noises and it's an amazing performance. A string of guttural German ends in a coughing fit. It's an entire speech created from nonsense but it ebbs and flows like a normal speech. We get the sense we understand what he's saying. I watched wondering how long he could keep it up. Unfortunately, some of the same bits are strewn again throughout the movie, taking away from their initial power.

Eventually, there's a case of mistaken identity and it's at this point the movie becomes preachy. I was going to write "a little" but that would be a gross understatment.

As an artifact, The Great Dictator is fascinating to see what we knew at the time. It's always been very unclear to me how much America knew about the plight of the Jews before WWII, but if Chaplin knew, it must at least have been fairly common knowledge and moreso once this film was released. Especially considering it was nominated for best picture in 1941.

I guess the way to watch a Chaplin film is to go in knowing he follows his own rules. You don't go for the story. You go to watch a man who knew how to entertain people and hope something comes out of that. Something usually does.