Football: Fantasy and Otherwise

Originally written 9/8/08

You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little hoarse this morning.

But before we get into the game, my girlfriend Tracy officially inducted me into Bear's fandom. Prior to the game, my friend had found a compilation of Hester returns on YouTube that we watched. Tracy beckoned me twice. I waved her off, celebrating with glee every return, grabbing veggies and dip quickly between. When it was over, Tracy said, "Congratulations! You're an official Bears fan. You're living in the past." God help me, it's true.

But maybe I don't have to live in the past. On this day, this bright Monday, I'm living in the present. The Bears looked good. Defense was ferocious and penetrating and scored. A running game was present. A quarterback who was clutch. Orton went for long stretches looking mediocre (and I'm fine with that), and then suddenly it's 3rd and long and we convert. He stood tall in the pocket. Hester, well, no highlights. And a real dumb move trying to fake everyone the play is over. Note to Mr. Hester: that only works when people expect you to kneel. Like that field goal attempt you returned. I'm sure someone's told you, but in case they haven't, don't try that stunt again.

Entertaining moment of the night: We sing the Bears' fight song after touchdowns. The Bears kick a field goal and our lack of song is met with the comment that they sing after field goals at the games. So we sang half-heartedly which we joked about. Host Rick chimes in, "And if we get a safety, we hum." A few plays later, there we are, a roomful of people signaling safety, humming the Bears' fight song.

So that's the real stuff. Let's look at the fake stuff. I'm playing Fantasy Football for the first time. I'm excited. I've criticized it before, mostly the coverage. Last year, Sports Illustrated devoted a single issue to both a training camp round-up and fantasy guesswork. The training camp article was 5 pages. The Fantasy Guesswork was close to 20. That made me mad.

But, a friend started a league, and so I joined. And it's real addictive.

Here's my draft:

1. (4) Brian Westbrook RB
2. (17) Michael Turner RB
3. (24) Larry Fitzgerald WR
4. (37) Ben Roethlisberger QB
5. (44) Marvin Harrison WR
6. (57) Jerricho Cotchery WR
7. (64) LenDale White RB
8. (77) Tony Scheffler TE
9. (84) Matt Schaub QB
10. (97) Arnaz Battle WR
11. (104) Donte' Stallworth WR
12. (117) Ray Rice RB
13. (124) Zach Miller TE
14. (137) Darrell Jackson WR
15. (144) Arizona DEF

In other news:
I think the lead actress on Fringe looks like a cross between Jennifer Garner and Cate Blanchett. My girlfriend wanted to throw in a bit of Jessica Biel. I said throw in all of Jessica Biel and you've got a deal. HA!

I didn't say that, which was smart. But I did write it, which isn't.

Update 11/14/08: So I meant to post this and just never did. And a lot has changed. On my Fantasy Football team. So because you care, want to update that. I'm doing fairly well. In third with a record of 6-4. First week was GREAT. And then a lot of players began not showing up. I don't even know who Darrell Jackson plays for. It now looks like this:

QB - Kurt Warner
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Anquan Boldin
WR - Mark Bradley
RB - Brian Westbrook
RB - Steve Slaton
TE - Owen Daniels
BN - Ben Roethlisberger
BN - Sammy Morris
BN - Tim Hightower
BN - Kevin Curtis
BN - Eddie Royal
BN - Carnell "Cadillac" Williams
K - Matt Prater
DEF - BodyMore, Murderland (for you Wire fans)

Little apprehensive about all my Cards, but hey, they're unstoppable. And they nearly brought me back from a 65 point deficit last week. So there it is, because you wanted it. I know you did.