Transformers

***1/2

I was in the movie theater waiting for Transformers to begin when a friend asked me, “So which Transformers did you have?”

“You know, I can’t really remember.”

My friend almost did a double take. “Where do you come from?”

I remember liking The Transformers (and their lesser-known counterparts, Go-Bots), but I can’t really remember them. I was much more into He-Man and Silverhawks and Star Wars.

All that to say, I watched the movie as a novice. I was in the minority. I couldn’t remember such excitement since Star Wars: The Phantom Menace was released. Maybe The Matrix: Reloaded. Both of those died pretty quickly. This did not. This excitement grew throughout the entire movie. As did mine.

Plot? OK. If I must. A U. S. helicopter that won’t identify itself lands at a US Air Force base somewhere in the deserts of the Middle East. Before you know it, this simple helicopter transforms into a three-story robot that destroys the base…and is looking for something. What? The Allspark. It fell to Earth millennia ago and contains a great power that if harnessed can blah blah blah…. Long and short: good guys (Autobots) and bad guys (Decepticons) both want it and so came to Earth to get it.

Meanwhile, our hero, Sam Witwicky (played by perhaps the next great actor Shia Labeouf) is dealing with high school: he can’t get the girl, the jocks don’t like him, he has friends that embarrass him in front of both, and his parents are ridiculous. But things may be looking up. In a shady car dealership run by Bernie Mac (has this guy ever been unfunny?), he happens upon an old Camaro.

Yes, it is a Transformer. Bumblebee, an Autobot (i.e. good guy, remember?). And so the fun begins. As a summer blockbuster, this is a great movie. As Ebert is found of saying, stuff blows up real good. There is plenty of humor. And the actors fill in what the script has sketched so we care about the characters. Of particular note are Kevin Dunn and Julie White who play Sam’s parents. They are a married couple the moment they share the screen and Ms. White is so funny she almost runs away with a movie in which giant robots fight each other. Oh, yeah. The Transformers. Judging by the cheers of the audience, they were not done a disservice.

I was entertained from beginning to end. Sure, in looking back today, there are bits and characters that didn’t really need to be there, but I didn’t care at the time. And a movie is about what happens to you when you are watching it.

I have hope for Michael Bay. His last two movies (this and The Island) were made without producer Jerry Bruckheimer and have had room for things other than explosions. He will never make a small, character-driven film, but a lot of other people will. He’s going to stick to what he does, and something may actually come of it.