Sick of Hollywood

That's it! I'm out. I want my old Hollywood back. The one that remembered how to make a summer blockbuster. The ones that were under two hours and fun. The days of Hollywood Lite. I don't want sodden character development and 2 1/2 hour run times leaching my fun summer movies of their fun! Give me my fun and give it to me now! Good gravy, man! I want my 1978 Superman. The one that I grew up with. The one that was fun. The one about Superman and not Lois Lane. (And by the way, Margot Kidder may not have been the ideal choice for Lois, but she certainly kicks Kate Bosworth's ass.) And why on earth does a pirate movie have to be so frickin' long? Show me buckles that swash, some Johnny Depp hijinks, and get me out of dodge. NO ONE BELIEVES THE LOVE STORY! There, free clue. Get it, Bruckheimer!

Because I hold Jerry Bruckheimer entirely responsible. Gore Verbinski directed both The Ring and The Weatherman which are both SHORTER than either of the Pirates movies. I suppose the length is for the themes that need- Sorry, I couldn't finish that joke. And there couldn't possibly be two different people on this great green earth who thought that both Pirates of the Caribbean movies and Bad Boys 2 had to be 2 1/2 hours long. No, that thought could only be conceived in one sick mind.

So this is me, calling out to Old Hollywood. The one from the mid-90's. Come back. Come back to me. Bring me Twister. Bring me Speed. Hell, I guess that means...bring me Jan de Bont.

Screw this. I'm going to pass out watching Elia Kazan's Pinky.